What Did They Say When You Spoke to Them About It?

One of the greatest leaders I’ve worked with - Kenny Wilson, former CEO of Dr. Martens - had a phrase he used often with the senior leadership team: 

“What did they say when you spoke to them about it?” 

It was his go-to response when someone came to him with a problem they were having with a peer or another area of the business. 

And it always stopped people in their tracks. 

Because more often than not, they hadn’t  spoken to the person directly. 

They’d come to him instead - maybe hoping he’d take their side, solve the issue, or have “a quiet word.” But Kenny’s answer was consistent: 

“Come back to me once you’ve had a go. And if you can’t resolve it, we’ll have the conversation together. But I’m not having a conversation about one of your peers without them present.” 

Simple. Fair. Empowering. 

It taught me a lot. 

Because what he was really doing was: 

• Promoting healthy accountability 

• Modelling respectful, direct dialogue 

• And refusing to enable avoidance—especially at senior level 

  
  

Here’s the kicker: If leaders avoid difficult conversations, their teams absolutely  will too. 

And the longer it takes to surface and address the issue, the bigger the performance risk becomes. 

So the next time someone brings you a problem about  someone else, consider starting with Kenny’s question: 

“What did they say when you spoke to them about it?” 

It might just be the most powerful prompt you can offer. 

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