I’m Not Your Mother

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve walked into a room - whether during the working day or at a social setting with colleagues - and been greeted with a variation of this: 

“Better watch what we say - HR’s here.” 

This wasn’t a room full of new graduates. It was leaders. Senior ones. 

And my response, pretty much every time? 

“I’m not your mother. Own your own behaviour.” 

If you feel the need to modify what you were about to say just because I’ve walked in the room, you’ve already got a good indicator that something’s off. 

And if you’re only adjusting your behaviour when someone from HR (or Legal, or Compliance) is present - well, that’s not leadership. That’s theatre.

What does it say about a culture if we police our behaviour only in certain company? 

Leadership - real leadership - is about owning how you show up, regardless of who’s in the room. It’s about holding yourself to a standard you believe in, not one you perform for. 

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Reflection Prompt

Next time you feel the urge to censor yourself because someone in a certain role just walked in - pause. Ask: 

• What was I about to say or do, and why? 

• What does that tell me about my own filters, standards, or blind spots? 

• What would change if I led like someone’s always watching - even when they’re not?